You Don’t Need to Know Everything About Books to Work at a Bookstore

Let me start this bad boy off with the fact that I don’t read a lot of books. I’m a movie kind of guy. While you’re wearing a tee shirt that says “Books: read the movie” I’m wearing the shirt that says: “Movies: they’re less work and also don’t tell me what to do you cocky cock”. That doesn’t mean I don’t read books. In fact I’m known to read about 5 – 8 books a year. Not much by many people’s standards but I feel good about it. So knowing this factoid when I actually got a job at a used book store I was a tiny bit nervous. I was worried that everyone was going to think I was stupid because I didn’t know what “First State” meant or because I’ve never read Kurt Vonnegut before. I kept thinking Oh man, I’m not going to be able to answer anyone’s questions and Why the HELL am I working at a bookstore?(Fact: I wanted to work there because they sold movies and video games and junk like that) All these smart customers are going to look at me like I’m retarded or something. Turns out, I had nothing to worry about. Most people who shop at bookstores are not very smart. For example:

1) It seems as though most customers don’t know the alphabet.

True story. I get asked all the time “Where are the ‘C’s?”  Well, I think it’s after ‘B’ and before ‘D’. It’s either that or “I don’t know how you organize the mysteries.” Umm… it’s kind of alphabetical. Mystery solved.  

 2) People can’t seem to read signs

Sometimes I get asked where we keep the sci-fi books while standing IN the sci-fi section. It’s pretty awesome. I like to point to the large sign above their head.

3) People want to read books they know nothing about…

4) …then they get mad when you don’t know what the book is about

Just ‘cause I work at a bookstore doesn’t mean I know everything about every book.

5) “Would you like a bag for your books?” is the most difficult question in the world.

6) Sometimes I get asked “What’s the name of this store?”

I see that you missed the 2 giant signs outside and the numerous signs at the ends of all the aisles. Oh yeah and the tag on my shirt as well.

7) I honestly got asked once “Who wrote Dante’s Inferno?”

8) Another time I was asked “Who wrote Homer’s The Odyssy?”

9) Apparently its totally cool to fart all the time in a bookstore

Now, these are just some examples of a few of the things I encounter every day at the bookstore. It’s because of these interactions that I realized that you indeed do not have to be a book person to work at a bookstore. You just need to know how to look up author’s names on the internet, have common sense and how to not laugh at dumb questions (yes, there are indeed dumb questions). Oh yeah, and you need to know the alphabet.